Patience is a virtue... or so I've heard

I’ve been waiting for so long now, and Bishop said my assignment still hasn’t been made which means that at the earliest, it’ll be made next week and then mailed the following week. 

I feel at this point like it’s never going to come. I guess you could say I’ve distanced myself so much that it feels completely unreal. I'm entirely apathetic towards it, which in my opinion is the worse feeling you can have towards anything. But it’s only because it feels so unreal. It’s like I’m traveling towards the horizon, I know it’s there... I can see it, but at the same time it’s not getting closer and is a completely intangible goal. 

I know my patience is being sorely tested. But the problem is my patience has already dried up. It dried up about a week ago. My frustration has almost entirely evaporated and I just feel empty. Since it’s never going to happen what’s the point in caring right?!

Okay okay, I guess I’m exaggerating. I know it’ll come eventually. It’s just irritated that people with the same availability date as me, who put their papers in at the same time, if not after… have already received their calls. Well that either means I’m going to the Provo UT Mission, or I’ve got to wait so that my mission has perfect timing so that I can best serve the Lord. The latter would be my preference but then again I know that Heavenly Father has a great sense of humor and would probably find it hilarious to send me to Provo, or London… sigh.

This post seriously isn’t a sympathy post or begging for responses with “don’t worry sweetie it’ll come!” or other sentimental crap. I know it’ll come. I’m just ranting. I’m staying busy, working, running errands, hanging out with friends, and I’ve been doing a lot of reading. Everything will be grand and with a pinch of Polyanna I could say that the longer I wait the happier and more excited I’ll be when it finally does come.

So in summary… I’m STILL waiting